Ownership of self worth
Copyright The Disgruntled Raven 2017
Owning your power. Sounds pretty, and empowering, does it not?
Believe me when I say the path is far from infinitesimal, let alone easy. In fact, it is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
I caught myself today thinking how I could avoid hurting someone by speaking my truth and calling them out on their shit. After all, when in pain, one becomes defensive as a protective mechanism to bar the source of pain further.
Truth be told, I received a wake up call from that naivete. There is pain to be had everywhere. It is literally impossible to go through life without causing pain to another. It is a fact, as well as one of the many shades of the human condition. It is part of the collective learning experience.
To further add to the list of complexities, admittedly I elucidate this figure as a male of intimate connection. What does that have to remotely do in regards to this topic, you may wonder? In sharing this -and my experiences as a female who has carried the burden of abandonment issues for the majority of her life, I can relay that that need to cater to the masculine gender also encompasses the struggle in owning one’s power. It is still stifling at times. Don’t offend the man, don’t blemish his feelings or chafe his masculine pride. Don’t walk away until he has drained you near to a husk. These have been many of the end results of my own personal choices, as well as similar outcomes for others in my life.
What about our pride and integrity as females? Where is our claimship, our inherent right to power? Without the discernment of our own inabilities to bear our teeth, to snarl no, or to walk away, what are we left with? A woman holding sanctioned unspeakable power in her hands with no imperative to use it, and those around to abuse it.
This is not about power play, or about “power over”. It is not even a matter of genders, for this type of struggle is prevalent in relationships of all varieties. It is the seizing of our own cosmic given sovereignty, to speak for our values, our worth, and our self-compassion. Self-regard with scruples is key.
Someone condescend to you? Speak up. Don’t feel as though you are treated fairly in your family? Make your case. Are you not being honored in your relationship? Leave it. We are NOT bound to suffer, to take less than what we deserve. You would not want the same for your children, family or loved ones, so why subject yourself to trivial worth by another?
Grasp that power that burns inside. Feel it emanating into your heart, your blood, your mind, your spirit. Feel it surge and grow, howling and roaring like a wild beast. Feel that hair standing on end? Your eyes dilating? Thought so. It’s your inner wild woman. The one who owns the power. She wishes to share it with you. She’s calling. Listen, and heed it. Take back your power, and own it, and to hell with what others think of your largeness, your ownership of your self worth.
Remember your roots…