Voices of the Home Free – Zura Mat
By Hollis Taylor
Many American youth find themselves traveling in a variety of ways across and around the USA, many of them leading nomadic lives. After their experience with dissapointment in our financial and education in the American culture their rebellion leads them to sleep in National Forests for free, skip out of college, and find a way to live on the road. For some of them this trip could last a few weeks, a few years or even a lifetime. As they travel their souls are awakened from the numbness of our technological materialistic world where they grew up. Their travels and experiences lead them to an awakened state that I am proud to see in our youth. As I continue to encounter them in festivals and on the streets I am moved at their insights. When I connect with them online I am moved at their writings and contributions to lift up the facebook experience.
The following is by Zura Mat
–Sitting in the bus station..
Wishing it were a freight train..
Pondering the truth of being hopeless, homeless .
The only person to befriend me
Was a man
With “7 entities living within”
He smiled and told me how beautiful my eyes were..
Despite the pupils that barely existed.
He told me to have a seat after boarding..
He told me he hopes I don’t mind if he uses me as a pillow.
Brother, I don’t mind..
But I’m sweating out the fury of self loathing
My legs will kick
My skin will scream..
I might feel like I am choking on sobriety..
Choking on reality.
He is quiet.
He can’t speak it..
But he types it into his phone..
He doesn’t know why
but he spills his stories
He spills his truth to the floor
In a multicolored masterpiece of a puzzle..
“I have been dead
But god is keeping me here.
Sometimes I feel like
a rat in a cage.
I want to die.
I have 7 demons..
But I am love.
I can’t let the demons win.
They call me crazy
But I know they are wrong.
It’s a constant battle.
I am in a coma.
This is a dream.
Sometimes I can feel the hospital pinpricks
Beneath my skin.
I’ve tried to die again
All I want to do is scream.”
Oh beautiful stranger,
You don’t even know it,
But you have changed my life..
You saw beneath my mask..
You told me I was beautiful
Even when my arms were scarred and red with punctures of a lost soul.
You fight a battle
Just like me.
You are a warrior.
I am a warrior.
The puzzle pieces of your story
Are fitting together
And I realize
The eyes of the blinded
Will never see you for what you are..
You may think sometimes
that you want to leave this earth..
But your purpose is so much more.
So fucking much more.
The spontaneity of the situation and the ease in which you bared your soul to me..
It was all for a reason.
Your puzzle is a part of my puzzle.
The synchronicity that i found in our so very different worlds…
I will never forget you.
They can call you whatever they want..
But i know you are a teacher
For those who can truly listen.
You are the reason
That I didn’t run away and poison myself further with the apathetic needle.
Oh beautiful stranger..
thank you for being so real.
You led me to the path I’ve been waiting for.
You led me to the winding upward sunrise..
You’re no longer a stranger.
You are just beautiful.–